He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
