my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
