I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
