You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
