what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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