her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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