Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
