If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
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No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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