there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
