I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
