can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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