hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
