If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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