I didn't shave. On purpose
Ketchup is God's man juice
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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