He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's blow job season.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
