She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
