That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
