so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
