I just made out with a guy for $7.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
