Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
