im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
