He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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