i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
