You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
