I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
