my phone needs a breathalizer
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
