Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize