ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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