Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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