It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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