let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
