i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Drake has all the answers
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
