Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I fill condoms, not promises.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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