Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
