38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
