I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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