it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I touched a dick in church today
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
