Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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