Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you