I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.