....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
