Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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