yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
