i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
