So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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