dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
