The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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