Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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