Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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