i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
