He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
