North Korea, Best Korea!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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