What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
