We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize