My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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