I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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