I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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