I am puke
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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