M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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