So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
