it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
