i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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