How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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