I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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