Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
